Week 3 Compassion

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”

— Lao Tzu

Begin by rereading Lao Tzu’s quote. Then ask yourself the question, am I seeking approval from others? Be honest with yourself because that is where our life begins and ends, with self. If we are practicing self-compassion, we are also honest with ourselves. Perhaps answering the question of needing others' approval, the answer is, sometimes. My guess is most people will say that. This is common, read the quote from the successful actress Sally Field, “It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else’s eyes.” Maybe for you it's professionally, maybe it's personally, maybe it's socially or intellectually.  

This week notice when you seek others’ approval and which area of your life’s categories it falls under. Notice too when you let yourself be your guide, and do not look for the endorsement from someone else. Taking this a step further we refer to Lao Tzu’s quote, content with self, accepting oneself. Is the lack of confidence in yourself the reason you seek approval from others? The answer will probably be, yes.

One thing we can all do about this lack of confidence in self which leads to lack of self-compassion, is to gain more training in the area you feel deficient. Research has proven the more we repeat an action the more skilled we become. It takes patience, time, energy, practice and education to create more confidence in any area. 

Focus on one area that would benefit you this week, only you know what that is. Give it time and effort. Then pay attention to how you feel about yourself. As always, be patient and kind with yourself.