Week 2 Self-Compassion

“Self-compassion is a more effective motivator than harsh self-criticism.”

— Dr. Kristen Neff

Self-compassion has been viewed as self-indulgent or even selfish.  

Research, according to Dr. Neff, shows that self-compassion reduces self-focus, increases perspective-taking, and helps us feel connected to others when we struggle. We begin to recognize that this is part of the shared human experience. Research also shows that self-criticism has a negative effect on us, but self-compassion can improve our outlook.

Mindfulness practice is the starting point to building self-compassion. Finding the present moment and accepting the pain of a situation that may have been self-initiated, a mistake or the outcome of outside circumstances.  It is a level of awareness that is worth trying the next time you are faced with adversity. Remind yourself that this is part of being human, know you are not alone, but are connected to others in experiencing pain since everyone feels it at some point. Next you can use your own physical touch which can be soothing, by rubbing hands together, or giving yourself a hug.

Finally, your self-talk is a critical piece to the building of self-compassion. What would you say to a dear friend if they were experiencing this difficult challenge or problem? Try saying something like that to yourself. Repeat it. Believe it.