Listening Week 1

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

— “Dali Lama”

What kind of listener are you?  This month we will examine the art of listening, and methods to become a more engaged listener.

Think about a time when you felt heard, seen, accepted. What were the circumstances and what made you feel this way? It may be hard to pinpoint, and you may not even remember the conversation, just the feeling. This is the end goal in the act of listening. It is an art and a strength that so many people overlook.

I recently asked my then 16-year-old great-nephew what his strength was, a question that stumps a lot of adults. He contemplated his answer, and then said, "I am a good listener." I was impressed, agreed with his assessment, and congratulated him on his highly important and essential strength. He understood innately how listening is a strength, and a gift, that we can give every day.

The following are examples of poor listeners: thinking of what you will say next, one-upping what your companion just shared, and immediately forgetting what was said because you did not pay attention. Most of us are guilty of at least one of these at some point in our day. If we start to view listening as a gift, we can change our habits.  The very next time you speak to someone, and they tell you something, try asking a question about it. Listen fully to the answer. Give them your full attention, and make eye contact, if you are not driving. It is so simple, and so rewarding for you both.